Me as fuckin hell
some of you are so shallow basing who you want to date purely off looks, you have to consider other qualities about the person too like do they have lots of money, do they drive a nice car etc
If they are smart
If they make me laugh like crazy
If they are older than me!
“hi! is your refrigerator running”
“yes it is”
“mine is as well! can’t wait to see your fridge at the race tomorrow”
He’s forgetting South Africa. The had a black president before we did…. Just saying Obama
*lies in the sun for 5 mins*
wheres my tan
when i die please punch everyone who says “i wish i got to know them better”
it’s so sad when you crave someone you can’t have
Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month
My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
calling people on the phone is more stressful than open heart surgery
how do astronauts say they’re sorry?
We dont apologize.
we are perfect.
nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ
friend: “i can only bring one friend. wanna go?”
when you feel your clothes fresh out of the oven
OKAY SO I REALIZED I USED OVEN INSTEAD OF DISHWASHER BUT I KINDA FORGOT WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND USED THE NEXT BEST GUESS I COULD THINK OF
It’s called a washing machine
i think its a dryer like who would be feeling wet ass clothes
this post is a fucking train wreck